Consider Julianne in the film My Best Friend’s Wedding, who only has platonic feelings for her friend Michael until she discovers he is getting hitched. She embarks on a journey to reclaim him, attempting to wreck his wedding to claim him as her own, but to no avail. But, unlike romantic movies, this one does not have a fairytale ending. Instead, it has a pragmatic finale in which you understand that fairytales don’t always come true. It is very normal to be drawn to a particular person. But if the feelings are not reciprocated, the emotions might intensify and become a major burden. Things may not always turn out the way we expect. However, accepting that there is no chance for a relationship and moving on is a good start. You can do a few things to help you get over that person and get on with your life. Keep reading to find out how to do that!
1. Keep Your Distance
The first step to take would be to maintain a safe distance from him. Do not text him or call him or even look at his Instagram stories. In case you might have to talk to him for some reason, make sure to keep personal discussions off the table. For instance, if he’s your colleague and you need to talk about some urgent assignment at work, try to limit the conversation to just that topic.
2. Pour Your Heart Out Into Writing
When you can’t talk about something, it helps to gather all your thoughts and write them out instead. This journaling will help put the finger on exactly what you are feeling and sort out your thoughts. It is a great method to be honest with your inner self and figure out what attracted you to them in the first place. This will also help you in knowing what you want your future partners to be like.
3. Cut Off Any Physical Contact
This could be a difficult task to accomplish, but it only serves a greater purpose of restoring your happiness. Unless you two work or study together, you should avoid the guy and keep him out of your personal space.
4. Don’t Stalk Him On Social Media Apps
We are all guilty of stalking our crushes on social media platforms, right? It is very easy to get sucked into being a cyberstalker when it involves someone you are deeply attracted to. What you need to do is unfollow or block them on all social media accounts to protect your own sanity. This will provide you ample time and space to move on.
5. Discard Any Reminders
When you are constantly around things or items that always remind you of someone you are trying to forget, you will find yourself stuck in that inevitable circle of feelings you are trying to fight. Did you two always share a bar of chocolate before a big presentation? Were they the ones to give you those earrings you loved wearing with every outfit? Well, it’s time to keep them at a distance. “Out of sight, out of mind” works best when you can’t get rid of something permanently.
6. Jot Down What You Liked About Him
Now, this might sound completely absurd and contradictory, but there’s a reason to try this out. Start to pen down those traits that made you feel attracted to him. Why, you ask? Well, instead of letting your thoughts go haywire in your head, it is better to have it all out on paper. This will keep your mind from obsessing over them. Additionally, you now know what you would want in a man you wish to settle with in your future.
7. Write Down The Cons Too
You are done with the pros. Now, it’s time to pour down the cons on paper. Write a list of traits that you do not like about him, but make sure the number is the same as the list you have made before. Consider all the things he has ever said that you didn’t appreciate or things he did that weren’t likable. This task will help you take a step back from everything and understand why this could have happened for good, after all.
8. Date Other Men
Nothing will keep your mind off a guy than going out and getting back in the game of dating others. When you put yourself out there, you never know what a gem you can find. But if you spend your time obsessing over a relationship with that guy, you might miss a great chance. Know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you deserve to go out and find one that is worth your time.
9. Keep Yourself Busy
Want to run a marathon you have been putting off? Want to go out and try your hand at an open mic comedy night? Now is your time. Go and do it all right away. Doing so acts as a distraction and lets you socialize with people outside of your circle who share the same interests.
10. Ask Yourself If You Actually Love Them
Let’s get real. Do you really think you are in love with them, or is this a temporary infatuation? You might not know them completely to feel something for them. There could always be things about them that could end up being toxic for you. All you know is that you are attracted to them and what they portray themselves as. If it’s not love, you don’t need to give them a lot of thought.
11. Reconnect With Old Friends
Having your close friends and family near you in times of crisis like this can help you feel better. Surround yourself with people who support you in all your endeavors and cheer you up. These are the people who can give you the much-needed motivation to pick yourself up.
12. Focus On Yourself
Turning the attention away from him requires focusing just on yourself. Fill your schedule with things that you have always wanted to try out. Go on a solo foreign trip, start those salsa classes, or learn a new language. These things do take your attention off of him and also help you in your personal growth.
13. Get Away From That Monotonous Routine
Stop doing the same old chores and activities that you have been following for quite some time. If you are going to all those same places and crunching up the same routine, it will be even harder to take your mind off your crush. Get up, refresh, and reload your daily routine. Start going for a jog every morning or join a gym.
14. Be Kind To Yourself
Getting attracted to someone is normal. But if those feelings are not being reciprocated, it doesn’t mean you will beat yourself up over the fact that you are not healing from the heartbreak as soon as you would have wanted to. It is a difficult process, so it is best that you stay kind to yourself first. How long does the average crush last? There is no set time limit for a crush. It can last a few months or even years. When should you give up on liking someone? You should stop liking someone if the other person is not interested or in a committed relationship with someone else. Why can’t I get over my crush? One of the reasons why you can’t get over your crush is because you have made that person the central focus of your life. You think about them all the time and have involuntarily trained your mind to constantly seek them. This makes it difficult to get over your crush.
